Growing Up With Three Older Brothers

None of us get to choose the circumstances surrounding our birth.  None of us get to choose our parents or our siblings.  I was born when my parents were middle aged; Daddy was 50, Mama was 40, and I inherited three older brothers all of whom were in high school, specifically as a senior, a junior and a sophomore. I was the only girl; born fifteen years after the youngest son.  I often think how strange this must have felt to my adolescent brothers as they had to confront a pregnant Mom when sex was never discussed at our house and sex education occurred only in random settings, mostly with peers sharing with others information they individually knew.  Since my brothers were male I assume that they got more education on my topic of sex than I did because I feel certain my Dad would have talked with them.  Mom could not talk about the topic with her sisters so I know she could not have addressed the topic with her sons. She never addressed the topic  with me.   

I consider myself so fortunate to have had these three brothers in my life even though they were exiting our home during my first years of life. In some ways they were more like uncles because of their age, but I never felt them to be that distant because I was told they were my brothers, period. I was told by many relatives that each of these brothers adored me and invested a lot of time in my early years. Throughout my growing up years these brothers flowed in and out of my life as they entered college, went to serve their country, and then took jobs.  All three of them married later in life, after age 30, and each gave something of themselves to me from their own interests. I learned about medical school, factory supervision jobs, golf, football, and sales jobs of pharmaceutical representatives. I learned social skills from being around them when they conversed with friends and bosses. Each of them loved music a great deal.  The type of music differed due to their own exposure to different genres, but I learned music was an important piece of life.  They also taught me to dance and often showed me pictures of themselves with various dates at dances. They were each very fashion conscious and great conversationalists. 

Perhaps this involvement with my life was accidental and totally unplanned.  Perhaps it was just them being themselves without giving thought to what they were giving or sharing with me,  but I can't quite believe it was that simple and un-thought out.  Each of these brothers chose to accept the advice of aunts and uncles who told them to get a college education because it was very important to success in life. When it came to me, I believe all of it was intentional, planned and given to me because they had learned themselves that success in life depended on many factors, all equally important, and things that they had learned to master because they saw them as steps to acceptance and success.  Mama and Daddy had some of these skills but not enough to provide all the examples that we would need to become successful.  Today I marvel at all the amazing advantages they, my parents, and to some degree my sister-in-laws, were able to give me during mt growing up years with what appeared to be so little effort. 

This past week I attended the funeral of Howard, the oldest brother who was the pharmaceutical representative.  L C, the second brother, businessman and industrial-business expert, died several years back. Now only one brother survives; Charlie, the youngest, who became a medical doctor. With each new death I feel I am losing a piece of myself; a piece that is so genuinely precious to me. While I never remember expressing to any of them or any other aunt or uncle, the deep feelings I have for all they did and gave to me as the youngest sibling I feel a sudden need to declare publically what a privileged life I have been given by so many people.  How did I get so lucky in life to be born into a family who seemed to give me all they knew to help me find my path.  How did I get this wealth of siblings, parents, uncles and aunts who stood by me throughout my childhood and adulthood to see that I found my own path to success?  I now know in a very deep way how blessed my life has been to have had my own teaching and cheering squad who gave me all they had to make things easier for me.  Maybe this is what we all are supposed to give to our family members.