My growing up years were spent surrounded by the relatives of both my Daddy and Mama. Daddy had 7 brothers and sisters; Mama had 9, and added together I had 16 aunts and uncles who for the most part lived within a 20 mile radius of my house. A few uncles and aunts lived in Indiana and other states, but most were no more than 10 miles from my home. Mama and Daddy were among the older children in their families so this meant their siblings often came by our house for meals, overnight stays and holidays. Home for me was kinda like living in a boarding house with a constant influx of relatives on any given day. Always welcoming and supportive, Mama and Daddy were accustomed to constant adaptations to whoever and whatever came through the door. Both of them seemed to love these drop in visitors. They made these visitors feel welcome and connected to us. It was often hard for me to think of my family as just us kids, Mama and Daddy; instead it was all of us, Daddy's family, and Mama's family on any given day.For the most part everyone got along, tolerated each other, and shared work and laughter.
My family and my extended family were focused on each other and afraid of the outside world. They visited each other, shared work, worshiped together, and believed in the same things. Most were Republicans and did not understand Democrats. They had grown up with only one or two Black families in the county and they had no interaction with them. I heard many negative things about Blacks and anyone who was different from us. I'd never met anyone from another country; I did not know world geography, and I had teachers who didn't know a lot about the larger world. In my small county we referred to anyone outside our community as 'from off' which meant they weren't from Sneedville. My family seemed to distrust anyone outside our community and were always suspicious of people different from them.
Even after my brothers had served overseas in the military and came back home with slide shows of other countries and stories about people from foreign lands, my family appeared to have little interest in the stories and the people. Actually, it seemed more like fear. Unlike my parents and extended family I was very excited to see the pictures, hear the stories and to imagine what it would be like to visit some of these places and get to know some of the people. I quietly promised myself I would travel one day and see this all for myself. In this respect I rejected most of the beliefs of my family and hoped one day to have my own different experiences. My brothers had laid the groundwork for further exploration.
Even after my brothers had served overseas in the military and came back home with slide shows of other countries and stories about people from foreign lands, my family appeared to have little interest in the stories and the people. Actually, it seemed more like fear. Unlike my parents and extended family I was very excited to see the pictures, hear the stories and to imagine what it would be like to visit some of these places and get to know some of the people. I quietly promised myself I would travel one day and see this all for myself. In this respect I rejected most of the beliefs of my family and hoped one day to have my own different experiences. My brothers had laid the groundwork for further exploration.
Now fast forward fifty years. With the above background still in my head, I have kept my promise to myself to explore and love a larger world. I have gotten to travel to many continents and counties, have friends across the world, and serve now as a host to foreign exchange students who visit the college campus where I taught. For the last two weeks my husband and I have hosted three Danish students who were here to study in the health care field. Our previous guests were from South America; our next group will be from Mongolia. Every time we serve as hosts I'm very excited to learn about them and what I need to see from their world. I only hope I will live long enough to get to see all of this great big world and it's many people and their wonderful cultures. While it's my job to share my world with them, I find their world to be more exciting.
For many US citizens 'people from off' are still just that, "OFF". I find this to be sad and believe it to be a result of chosen ignorance. How do you move from being taught to fear the world to actively embracing differences? I still know the messages my family gave me about people different from me, but I have chosen to trust my own experiences now more than what my family taught me. I believe isolation and little to no experience leads to many wrong ideas and beliefs about the world and its people.
What I have taken, however, from my family has been the strong sense of hospitality that I learned from them as they welcomed me and other family members. I know how to make connections to a broader world because I first learned how to make these connections to my family members at home. As my family worked together, shared food, solved problems, and cared for each other we learned respect and tolerance. It's the same hospitality. I have only learned to cast my net farther into the ocean and across more mountains than the ones I knew as a child.
What I have taken, however, from my family has been the strong sense of hospitality that I learned from them as they welcomed me and other family members. I know how to make connections to a broader world because I first learned how to make these connections to my family members at home. As my family worked together, shared food, solved problems, and cared for each other we learned respect and tolerance. It's the same hospitality. I have only learned to cast my net farther into the ocean and across more mountains than the ones I knew as a child.
