Hancock County did not have a Senior Prom. Instead we had an Alumni Banquet in May of
each year. All alumni were invited along
with the current year senior class for a dinner and dance afterward. It really
wasn’t much, just a dinner in the cafeteria and a local musical group afterward
in the gymnasium. Underclassmen could attend if a senior invited them.
My goal the junior year was to find a senior boy who
would ask me to the alumni banquet. I
knew it had to be Melvin because he was the cutest, smartest, funniest guy in
school. The only problem was that all
the girls wanted to be asked by Melvin for the same reason. Since competition was going to be tough I
developed a ‘back-up’ plan. This back-up plan consisted of Melvin’s ugly best
friend, Ralph. My only interest in Ralph’s was getting to sit with Melvin and
whoever the lucky girl happened to be at the banquet. I would just pretend that
I was Melvin’s date. Just as I predicted, Melvin did not ask me but Ralph
did. I think Ralph knew there was little
attraction between us, but he, like me, wanted to be in on the action.
Truth be known, I didn’t know much about banquets or
proms so I turned to my monthly subscription of Seventeen Magazine for help in
learning prom etiquette, proper dress, conversation; all the stuff that happens
at a prom. Seventeen Magazine was full
of helpful stuff about ‘proper prom behavior’ and what to expect on this
special evening. I took it all as
unquestioned ‘truth’ and followed it to a tee. The magazine and I both assumed
that my date would be able to drive a car.
Ralph picked me up in the family car. He was a relatively new driver and was very
cautious with the car, thus we arrived late. Parking was a struggle also. We
ended up kinda sideways in a parking spot quite a distance from the
cafeteria. The meal went well except
that Merlin and Ralph paired up and told farm and fart jokes all during
dinner. I tried my best to outshine Merlin’s
date with conversation and witty remarks, but it soon became apparent that both
Merlin and Ralph would have preferred to come as a couple themselves instead of
asking two girls.
It was a truly miserable night. Melvin and his date danced a bit, but, of
course, Ralph did not know how to dance.
There wasn’t much he knew, period! When we returned back to the parked
car I noticed that it was not parked in the same place as where we left
it. In my astuteness I said, “Why is the
car in a different spot?” Ralph shyly
said, “I don’t know how to drive too good and I guess my Dad came and re-parked
it.” This was the final straw! Why had I bothered with this? It certainly was not the dream date I had seen
in Seventeen Magazine. Neither was it worth all the effort I had given to be
with Melvin; he still had not notice that I was there. This is the first time I learned the meaning
of “Second best is still not good enough”.
I was determined that my senior banquet would be TOTALLY
different. This year I got asked by Herman Lawson, another senior, who had
become a good friend and someone of romantic interest to me. Again I assumed he was an experienced driver
and that things would go better this year.
What I didn’t know was that Herman had NOT gotten his driver’s license,
and we would have to double date with Jackie and Marietta who were both of our
best friends. I thought it was rather
odd that he had never bothered to get his driver’s license. It was also odd that he did not mention this
issue until after I had agreed to go to the banquet. I had my driver’s license;
I got them two weeks after my sixteenth birthday. In my thinking every senior had
their driver’s license! Herman arranged for Jackie to pick up
Marietta, then pick him up, and lastly, pick me up. By no means was this the
romantic picture Seventeen Magazine had painted. It was beginning to look like
another prom disaster.
Herman had been helping his dad haul manure on the farm
the day of the prom. His dad failed to get him home in time to clean up before
Jackie came to pick him up. Herman called me to explain that Jackie and
Marietta would pick me up and he would have his dad drive him to the high
school after he bathed, and we would just meet at the prom. To me this was weird as hell, and another prom
disaster, but I was stuck with it.
Fortunately, the prom went quite well for Herman and me
once he arrived. That was not especially
true for Jackie and Marietta. On the way
home in the back seat of Jackie’s car, Herman and I exchanged our first kisses. This is when I realized the benefit of being
driven to the banquet by someone else.
